Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Breaking Up, Not Tuning Up
So this is new territory for me. At the grand old age of 57, I'm having to learn how to break up, how to survive it and how to be single again. Tonight I'm being very brave and listening to slow, sad tunes on Spotify and wishing I hadn't split up with The Climber. We used to sing together. He plays the guitar really well and, for the first time in my life, I was with someone who wanted to hear me sing. And now I've lost that - I'm back to singing for the cat, if I had one...
I wish I knew for sure that splitting up is the right thing to do. I'm such a beginner at this. And The Climber is a very different man compared to The Golfer. Things weren't perfect with The Golfer by any means but he was very laid back and I honestly can't remember him finding fault with me on more than a couple of occasions in thirty years. The Climber, on the other hand, doesn't hold back if he thinks I'm being unreasonable. It's a long story which will no doubt come out over the course of the next few posts but, suffice to say, I'd had enough of being in the wrong.
Now, don't misunderstand me, The Climber is a lovely man but he is a climber - a rock climber and, as anyone who has dated a rock climber will tell you, climbers are different. All they care about is climbing - everything is focussed on it, everything else comes second to it. And my Climber is (I suppose he isn't MY Climber any more) a middle-aged climber. He's been a climber for forty years. I never stood a chance against that.
So that's all I've got to say tonight. I think breaking up was the right thing to do, even if it means I will die old and alone ...thinking about it, the old bit isn't so bad - after all, as someone once said - think about the alternative... How do you decide a relationship has run its course? That it's only going to go downhill from this point? I have no idea. Back to the sad songs...Night all.